7 Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship Pattern

Our choice of partners is a staged process. First is awareness of the attractive appearance and/or personality of others; discovery of similarities; then a state of emotional excitement; and finally, the revelation of deeper psychological needs.

Recognizing the SEVEN aspects of a toxic relationship pattern can help you see what is going on in your life and get out of ongoing frustration, pain, and sadness faster.

1. Repeatability

You have been involved in more than one relationship that initially offered the conditions of hope but fell short of its fulfillment. People may be different, but beginnings and endings are the same over and over again.

2. A conflict

No matter how good the feelings are initially, deep down, you knew and felt that there was something in the relationship that made you feel uncomfortable or made you feel anxious, insecure, worried, jealous, distressed, etc.

3. A bodily sensation

You experience an uncomfortable but familiar biological response that is triggered by something the other person said or did. For example, her anxiety level skipping ten points, a sudden knot in her stomach, or a pain in her forehead.

4. A feeling of deep loss

When a relationship ends, you are left with a sense of loss of something (or rather hope of something). You experience a void where you once felt a ‘real’ connection, no matter how full of uncertainty, shame, humiliation, pain or suffering the relationship has been.

5. Obsessing

You have thought about it or really believe that the rejection response of the other is due to your own words or actions that push them away, but you still have the idea that you can somehow transform the other person into the loving person who accepts that you are so desperately. and searching obsessively.

6. An underlying vulnerability

His sense of his own worth is threatened; and you feel bad in the sense that as much as you have functioned as a resource to others and have done well when maximizing the use of good coping and conflict resolution skills, you feel overwhelmed and very vulnerable.

7. Disowned parts of oneself

Beneath the surface, there are deep roots from which your omen patterns have grown. These imprints are like the fuel that intensifies the pattern of negative bonding.

Understanding your deepest psychological needs removes some of the mystery of the force that draws you into the arms of one person, while drawing you away from another who might seem equally desirable to any unbiased observer. It really is possible to break out of a pattern of toxic relationships and begin to enjoy healthy, happy, fulfilling long-term relationships.

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