BF (26M) thinks I am (25F) controlling for being concerned about his drinking habits and asking him to stop drinking

My (25F) BF and I have a great relationship overall. She has said that I understand him more than anyone, and that he loves me deeply, etc. He’s hardly an emotional guy, so this is a big deal for him. He enjoys a good beer, which is great, but the problem is that when he starts, he can barely stop, and when he’s drunk he gets aggressive, it’s almost like he’s become a different person. He has often admitted to verbally abusing me when he was drunk, then expressing remorse the next morning before we got ready. (He says that he never meant it, and that he knew what would hurt me, and would deliberately say them TO hurt me in the moment of anger.) He has even said that he is aware that once he starts, he just can’t stop. drinking, and that the only solution is to stop drinking altogether. Here’s the problem: When he starts drinking now, I panic because I know what’s coming, and I try to stop him (he buys a 4-pack at a time, says he’ll stop in 2, but never does. In fact , usually doesn’t stop at a 4 pack). He gets mad because I get mad because he starts drinking and says that’s why he drinks more. It’s basically a vicious cycle. Last week, when he was drinking and beginning to tease me, I tried to de-escalate the situation by removing myself from his presence altogether. However, he was still angry, still drinking and very aggressive when he came home. However, he said that he wasn’t mad at me, just mad, but he didn’t know why. I suggested that he start therapy and told him I would call him and sign him up if he continued to drink excessively and become aggressive. But he thinks that I am the reason behind his alcoholism because he needs to escape from my annoyance. However, he was still drunk even though I had nothing to do with the situation. He says he wants to break up with me, I’m a killjoy and bring negativity into his life. This week we tried to come to an agreement about how much drinking is a healthy amount, but he couldn’t do it and he tried to hide the fact that he had been drinking: his smell and his behavior gave him away. Am I to blame or am I wrong for caring about his drinking habits? It might be worth mentioning that despite having very little disposable income, he spends it all on alcohol. Tl; dr: I think BF drinks an unhealthy amount of alcohol. I ask you to stop. he he he can’t A vicious circle ensues. He thinks he controlled him and he wants to break up with me.

My (25F) BF and I have a great relationship overall. She has said that I understand him more than anyone, and that he loves me deeply, etc. He’s hardly an emotional guy, so this is a big deal for him. He enjoys a good beer, which is great, but the problem is that when he starts, he can barely stop, and when he’s drunk he gets aggressive, it’s almost like he’s become a different person. He has often admitted to verbally abusing me when he was drunk, then expressing remorse the next morning before we got ready. (He says that he never meant it, and that he knew what would hurt me, and would deliberately say them TO hurt me in the moment of anger.) He has even said that he is aware that once he starts, he just can’t stop. drinking, and that the only solution is to stop drinking altogether. Here’s the problem: When he starts drinking now, I panic because I know what’s coming, and I try to stop him (he buys a 4-pack at a time, says he’ll stop in 2, but never does. In fact , usually doesn’t stop at a 4 pack). He gets mad because I get mad because he starts drinking and says that’s why he drinks more. It’s basically a vicious cycle. Last week, when he was drinking and beginning to tease me, I tried to de-escalate the situation by removing myself from his presence altogether. However, he was still angry, still drinking and very aggressive when he came home. However, he said that he wasn’t mad at me, just mad, but he didn’t know why. I suggested that he start therapy and told him I would call him and sign him up if he continued to drink excessively and become aggressive. But he thinks that I am the reason behind his alcoholism because he needs to escape from my annoyance. However, he was still drunk even though I had nothing to do with the situation. He says he wants to break up with me, I’m a killjoy and bring negativity into his life. This week we tried to come to an agreement about how much drinking is a healthy amount, but he couldn’t do it and he tried to hide the fact that he had been drinking: his smell and his behavior gave him away. Am I to blame or am I wrong for caring about his drinking habits? It might be worth mentioning that despite having very little disposable income, he spends it all on alcohol. Tl; dr: I think BF drinks an unhealthy amount of alcohol. I ask you to stop. he he he can’t A vicious circle ensues. He thinks he controlled him and he wants to break up with me.

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