Book Review – ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Dr. Gary Chapman

When I first looked at the cover of the book, I thought, “Wow, this looks too sweet for me,” but I still bought it because it was recommended to me by one of my clients as a good and interesting read. This is now many years ago and since then I have used ideas from this book with every couple that comes to work with me.

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After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman realized that people have different ways of showing love to another person, and for whatever reason, they are usually attracted to someone who shows it in a different way. He came up with five basic categories: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical contact.

More in details

This book explains in detail the different love languages ​​(categories), how to discover your primary love language, and talks about what happens through the different stages of a relationship.

Dr. Gary Chapman injects his explanations with many stories of people who have attended his seminars and who, using the ‘Five Love Languages’ theory, have significantly changed the level of satisfaction in their relationship or marriage.

I specifically liked his love tank theory and the idea that we pay with the currency of our primary love language, so the recipient’s account might prefer another currency. He also suggests that couples play a game in which one asks the other, ‘What could you do today that would make your love tank soar?’ By taking responsibility for your own needs and likes and stating what they would be, you allow your partner to collect more and more ideas on how to make the most effective payments on your emotional love tank.

If you are now curious about what your main love language is: there is a test at the end of the book, both for him and for her.

About the Author

Dr. Gary Chapman is a pastor, speaker, and author. He teaches his ‘Five Love Languages’ and talks about marriage, family and relationships, all over the United States and internationally as well. He has written over thirty books and created five video shows.

‘The Five Love Languages’ was published in 1992 and has since been translated into more than forty different languages. This book has sold over five million copies, making it a perennial New York Times bestseller.

Recommendation

More than the number of books sold is the effect this has had on so many couples I’ve been working with. This book is easy to read for both husband and wife and has practical advice on how to make your relationship more fulfilling and happy. This is basic knowledge for any couple, married or not.

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