It is possible to assume that when you “win” having a good relationship, you would like to continue living it as a good one. In other words, you would like to “win” your partner and your relationship over and over again.
This is not surprising: winning a good relationship means that it gives you a good feeling about the relationship and about yourself for being able to win such a relationship. Then he will do everything to “repeat” his success, to “prove” to himself that he has really “won” a great relationship. Therefore, he will do his best to develop and maintain it to the best of his ability. Compromise when necessary; engage in mutual give and take; Communicate with your partner in ways that reduce conflict and increase the feeling of togetherness.
Your success motivates you to do everything you can to continue having a great relationship!
But do you know how to do it? Do you know how to make sure you maintain a good and successful intimacy?
Many have good intentions but lack the “know-how”. Either they didn’t have good examples to follow, or something in their character sabotages their good will, or both.
many too to think They know how to maintain a good relationship. For example, they think that by telling the other how to behave; controlling your partner; by making all the decisions, they ensure the happiness of themselves and their partners.
But the truth is, behaving that way is a sure way to ruin the relationship. Neither partner would want the other to be dominant to the point of controlling every aspect of the relationship (and their life).
The opposite of dominant behavior is submissive: there are those who believe that to maintain a good relationship they need to be submissive; give 100% to your partner and to the relationship; let your partner make all the decisions about everything; love and pamper your partner as much as you can.
They may mean well, but again, such behavior could alienate their partners from them.
In both cases, both in the dominant and in the submissive, there may be reasons for the person to behave as they do: messages received at home; examples they have seen at home; the forms of conduct of the society in which they have been educated; their characters; self-esteem (or lack of); their perception of relationships, and so on.
Without being aware of the reasons that lead them to behave as they do (the need to exercise power, being too needy, etc.), they may perceive their behavior as one that allows them to maintain a good relationship, without realizing that the opposite is true. true: nobody likes to be dominant all the time; and no one likes to be intimate with someone who is too submissive. In fact, there are those who love to be dominant and those who prefer to be submissive, but in most cases a good balance and reciprocity is the basis of a good relationship.
So if you want to maintain a good relationship, you need to be aware of your behavior patterns; of the ways you sabotage the relationship, often unconsciously, and the reasons that drive you to behave the way you do. These are the first steps in making changes that will allow you to maintain satisfactory intimacy.
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