How often do you have sex in a long-term relationship?

ME \[29M\] I’ve been with my long-term girlfriend\[28F\] ever since we were 19 years old and we met in our undergraduate college program. Over the years, I have noticed that sexual frequency has drastically decreased. In the early years it was usually once a week and for the last 5 or 6 years maybe 3 or 4 times a year. As someone without much relationship experience I thought this was expected in relationships so I went with the flow, however it has been bugging me recently when I read these threads about happily married couples being sexually active once a week or even more frequent Is this really the norm? Personally, I feel that sex is so important for emotional connection. I wonder if anyone has ever broken up a long term relationship because of this or if anyone has managed to increase frequency with her partner. I feel like as men we already have high libidos. Before commenting on communication with my partner, I have and are in couples therapy. I have read “come as you are” and am aware of the events some women experience that affect arousal, however the prospect of having sex 2-3 times a year for the rest of my life makes me very sad. I would like to do it regularly on a weekly basis. And yes, I understand that there is no standard, as it has to be something that you are both comfortable with. tl; dr – for those in long-term relationships, how often do you have sex? and for those with a low frequency, have you managed to improve it or did you break the relationship?

ME \[29M\] I’ve been with my long-term girlfriend\[28F\] ever since we were 19 years old and we met in our undergraduate college program. Over the years, I have noticed that sexual frequency has drastically decreased. In the early years it was usually once a week and for the last 5 or 6 years maybe 3 or 4 times a year. As someone without much relationship experience I thought this was expected in relationships so I went with the flow, however it has been bugging me recently when I read these threads about happily married couples being sexually active once a week or even more frequent Is this really the norm? Personally, I feel that sex is so important for emotional connection. I wonder if anyone has ever broken up a long term relationship because of this or if anyone has managed to increase frequency with her partner. I feel like as men we already have high libidos. Before commenting on communication with my partner, I have and are in couples therapy. I have read “come as you are” and am aware of the events some women experience that affect arousal, however the prospect of having sex 2-3 times a year for the rest of my life makes me very sad. I would like to do it regularly on a weekly basis. And yes, I understand that there is no standard, as it has to be something that you are both comfortable with. tl; dr – for those in long-term relationships, how often do you have sex? and for those with a low frequency, have you managed to improve it or did you break the relationship?

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