I [28M] I feel that by not ending my friendship with my wonderful friend [30F] I am purposely sabotaging my own love life.

Now before I say anything, I completely blame myself and feel like my friend is just trying to show how much she loves me platonically by doing these things. Long story short, I have a wonderful friend who is polyamorous. After being stupid and not realizing that she was more interested, we became very close friends and I still fell in love with her. I thought the feelings would go away, and eventually we’d drift into a comfortable emotional distance. Now I’m just struggling emotionally. She has made me feel loved and has never been anything but supportive and loving. She had a bad day, let’s share. She wants to go on a trip, we will leave next weekend if the schedule allows it. I have never had a friendship/relationship like this. She moved in with her partner and I made the minimum effort to keep in touch. I reply to text messages from her and checked in twice. Now I’m going on a trip to Boston and I’m sharing a hotel with her partner. For some reason, I’ve never felt jealous, I just really like him. This has happened many times, but I’m the only friend she does this with. Now, once again I go on a trip with her, she is excited and I am happy, but I don’t want to go. I blurted out and asked if she had a week off this summer to come to France with me and she said yes. No, she is not using me and she will always fight to pay for things. Once she left me cash, another time she sent me 2000 in wine as a gift. This trip was something we talked about at length but we couldn’t do it because of COVID, but now we can. She should be happy, but I know this will only make me like her more, she’s a joy to have around her. We both put the same effort. To be honest, there is no legitimate reason to say that I can’t be friends other than that I don’t think I can have a platonic relationship or not with her and another woman I have feelings for. Do I continue to live life and will everything work out or do I need to cancel everything after this trip? TL; DR: I have feelings for my friend. I keep trying to let her go, but she continues to try so hard to be a part of my life even though she’s 300 miles away. There’s nothing exactly wrong, except that it’s an intimate friendship that probably wouldn’t work out with any future partner. I’m also worried that she won’t be able to forge future relationships. Should she end it, set limits?

Now before I say anything, I completely blame myself and feel like my friend is just trying to show how much she loves me platonically by doing these things. Long story short, I have a wonderful friend who is polyamorous. After being stupid and not realizing that she was more interested, we became very close friends and I still fell in love with her. I thought the feelings would go away, and eventually we’d drift into a comfortable emotional distance. Now I’m just struggling emotionally. She has made me feel loved and has never been anything but supportive and loving. She had a bad day, let’s share. She wants to go on a trip, we will leave next weekend if the schedule allows it. I have never had a friendship/relationship like this. She moved in with her partner and I made the minimum effort to keep in touch. I reply to text messages from her and checked in twice. Now I’m going on a trip to Boston and I’m sharing a hotel with her partner. For some reason, I’ve never felt jealous, I just really like him. This has happened many times, but I’m the only friend she does this with. Now, once again I go on a trip with her, she is excited and I am happy, but I don’t want to go. I blurted out and asked if she had a week off this summer to come to France with me and she said yes. No, she is not using me and she will always fight to pay for things. Once she left me cash, another time she sent me 2000 in wine as a gift. This trip was something we talked about at length but we couldn’t do it because of COVID, but now we can. She should be happy, but I know this will only make me like her more, she’s a joy to have around her. We both put the same effort. To be honest, there is no legitimate reason to say that I can’t be friends other than that I don’t think I can have a platonic relationship or not with her and another woman I have feelings for. Do I continue to live life and will everything work out or do I need to cancel everything after this trip? TL; DR: I have feelings for my friend. I keep trying to let her go, but she continues to try so hard to be a part of my life even though she’s 300 miles away. There’s nothing exactly wrong, except that it’s an intimate friendship that probably wouldn’t work out with any future partner. I’m also worried that she won’t be able to forge future relationships. Should she end it, set limits?

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