I think my ex should get more involved with our son, but I don’t know how to tell him that.

My (31f) ex (37m) and I have a son “B” (who will turn 2 in May). Ex lives in a different state than my son and I, but comes to a nearby city for work / to see B quite often. Typically, it will take B between 2 and 6 days a month. His plan has always been to reach out to us once B grows up so that he can participate more in his life. With her job, she can move practically whenever / wherever she wants, but being out of the city she is currently in would take a hit on her career, so she’s been putting it off My boyfriend (33m) and I have been together a little over a year now. Things are getting pretty serious and in recent months he has been spending more and more time in the house. B adores my boyfriend. I love watching them interact and play, but do I feel a little guilty? I always let my ex take the lead in his relationship with B, but I didn’t really realize how much he was missing out on until I saw my boyfriend and B bonding almost daily. Sure B isn’t going to remember being 22 months old and making pranks and farting noises with my boyfriend, but does it still seem like a big deal? My ex struggles when he’s around, but it’s hard for a little boy to really understand when he sees him so infrequently that I don’t want to demand that he move out or anything, but I’m also concerned that B’s relationship with my boyfriend might start to overshadow your relationship with your father? But I don’t know how to tell my ex that without sounding like “hey, you should probably stop being a shitty dad before B starts to like my boyfriend more than you do.” Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Tldr: ex is a good father, but not much. I’m not sure if I should talk to him about it.

My (31f) ex (37m) and I have a son “B” (who will turn 2 in May). Ex lives in a different state than my son and I, but comes to a nearby city for work / to see B quite often. Typically, it will take B between 2 and 6 days a month. His plan has always been to reach out to us once B grows up so that he can participate more in his life. With her job, she can move practically whenever / wherever she wants, but being out of the city she is currently in would take a hit on her career, so she’s been putting it off My boyfriend (33m) and I have been together a little over a year now. Things are getting pretty serious and in recent months he has been spending more and more time in the house. B adores my boyfriend. I love watching them interact and play, but do I feel a little guilty? I always let my ex take the lead in his relationship with B, but I didn’t really realize how much he was missing out on until I saw my boyfriend and B bonding almost daily. Sure B isn’t going to remember being 22 months old and making pranks and farting noises with my boyfriend, but does it still seem like a big deal? My ex struggles when he’s around, but it’s hard for a little boy to really understand when he sees him so infrequently that I don’t want to demand that he move out or anything, but I’m also concerned that B’s relationship with my boyfriend might start to overshadow your relationship with your father? But I don’t know how to tell my ex that without sounding like “hey, you should probably stop being a shitty dad before B starts to like my boyfriend more than you do.” Maybe I’m just overthinking it. Tldr: ex is a good father, but not much. I’m not sure if I should talk to him about it.

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