I was once in a three-year relationship with a man where we had sex and spent every day together. After about six months of our casual relationship, I wanted to know if our relationship was serious or not. But not once did he ask the question: Would you be my girlfriend? So I asked if we should be. He kept quiet, thought about it for a bit, asked me a few questions, and said yes. Let’s state the title of our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. I imagined feeling ecstatic. But somehow, the event ended up feeling very hollow and empty. In a way, I felt like I had convinced him to be my boyfriend, but he didn’t feel right.
I think I was lucky in that relationship. The man I was dating felt enough for me that he decided to put a title on our casual relationship and turn it into a serious one. But for many other women, they enter into a casual relationship, and even after years of exclusively seeing that same man, he has managed to convince her that “relationship titles aren’t important.”
Later, I also experienced this with another man who I seriously saw as the father of my future children. And I loved him so much, I became so fond of him, that after two years, when he said, ‘Marriage is just a piece of paper. It guarantees nothing’, ‘I see you every day, isn’t that enough?’, ‘Don’t you know I love you?’, ‘Why do you need me to prove my love with a piece of paper?’, etc. I convinced myself that maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn’t important. And if she really loved him, she wouldn’t force him to make a decision he didn’t want to make right now. So I waited. In the end, he broke my heart and left me because he fell in love with another girl.
The point I want to make here is that you have a right to want what you want. You don’t need any other reason to want what you want, except that you ‘want it’. If you are in a relationship with a man who truly loves you the way you want him to love you, he will do whatever he can to make you happy. If you are serious about your relationship, you will want to give your relationship a clear title. He will want you to be out of the reach of other men. He will be the one who is desperate to make you his.
So if you calmly tell the man you’re dating right now that having a relationship title is important to you, and that you can’t be in a relationship with him without it, and he still won’t budge, it’s time to choose do the best for you and leave.
Men will give you valid reasons for not wanting to commit to a relationship just yet. But don’t you see that there will always be reasons for and against any decision? And you want me to choose to be with you, no matter what, right? You deserve to be appreciated, loved and adored by the man you love. Give yourself that gift and protect your heart, as a man who really loves you would. I have found my prince. When does he go to him?
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