“I’m not trying to gag you, but…”

Last night my husband Jake (M27) and I (F23) went out with his friends. At one point early, he reached out and squeezed my thigh, as a sort of warning. He had just made a sarcastic joke with Mary, the wife of another friend I know, like “Oh well, if you weren’t such a liar!” She knew she was kidding, we laughed, it was whatever… but this warning… maybe I missed some context that I didn’t understand? This morning I mentioned to Mike, another boy who is not related to him, who was at the party and Jake hinted at me a little bit about keeping the things he says to me a secret. He said, “I’m not trying to gag you, but if I tell you things, you should keep them quiet.” He thought my prank on Mary was about Mike. He clearly wasn’t paying attention to the conversation and when I tried to explain what was really going on he doubled down and said I need to learn to be better to keep the things he said between us but couldn’t give any examples. This seems really unfair of him if he doesn’t have an example. Jake was wrong in his assumption and I’m pretty sure I didn’t share anything I shouldn’t have, but there’s no apology or anything from him. Now I’m sitting here trying to think of something I said that I shouldn’t have said and I can’t think of anything, I’m not sure what’s supposed to happen here but I feel crazy. It makes me want to tell him not to gossip with me if he thinks I can’t control my mouth TLDR: My husband misunderstood a conversation and he tells me I share confidences when I don’t

Last night my husband Jake (M27) and I (F23) went out with his friends. At one point early, he reached out and squeezed my thigh, as a sort of warning. He had just made a sarcastic joke with Mary, the wife of another friend I know, like “Oh well, if you weren’t such a liar!” She knew she was kidding, we laughed, it was whatever… but this warning… maybe I missed some context that I didn’t understand? This morning I mentioned to Mike, another boy who is not related to him, who was at the party and Jake hinted at me a little bit about keeping the things he says to me a secret. He said, “I’m not trying to gag you, but if I tell you things, you should keep them quiet.” He thought my prank on Mary was about Mike. He clearly wasn’t paying attention to the conversation and when I tried to explain what was really going on he doubled down and said I need to learn to be better to keep the things he said between us but couldn’t give any examples. This seems really unfair of him if he doesn’t have an example. Jake was wrong in his assumption and I’m pretty sure I didn’t share anything I shouldn’t have, but there’s no apology or anything from him. Now I’m sitting here trying to think of something I said that I shouldn’t have said and I can’t think of anything, I’m not sure what’s supposed to happen here but I feel crazy. It makes me want to tell him not to gossip with me if he thinks I can’t control my mouth TLDR: My husband misunderstood a conversation and he tells me I share confidences when I don’t

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