My (31F) boyfriend (34M) seems obsessed with other women

Hey everyone, I’m a chronic overthinker so I’m hoping someone can give a third party perspective on whether my boyfriend is raising a bunch of red flags or I’m just not seeing things clearly from his side. So for my background: I’m pretty inexperienced when it comes to “casual dating.” I have only had 2 serious relationships in my life before my current boyfriend (we have been together 1 year). It is true that I was never the “prom bell” or anything like that and I have had self-esteem issues related to how I would compare myself to other women or more beautiful actresses and models; however, as I have aged and become more confident and sure of myself, these feelings have more or less faded or are at least average. I delve into this because my boyfriend has even less experience than me. He has never had a girlfriend before me and he has only had one other intimate partner since he was a teenager or early twenties. This doesn’t bother me because our relationship, while not perfect, is far from bad and I guess I’ve never put much emphasis or importance on the “experience”. We get along great, communicate well, and have similar life goals, and if he had never told me that he was inexperienced, I wouldn’t have noticed. However, my boyfriend seems deeply scarred by the fact that he was inexperienced and starts to make me feel like he’s “settling” with me because I was his only option (which I don’t think is true, but I’ll explain why he says that). First of all, my boyfriend comments that he has no experience or that he was never very popular with women. We’ll be watching a movie where a guy is pining for a girl and it’s not working out, and my boyfriend will start talking about how “things like that never worked out for him” and how he “wished not to be so awkward.” Women!” He once turned to me and said, “I wish I was better off talking to women” before he sarcastically asked “Oh? Are you thinking of putting yourself on the market?” Then he rowed very loudly and I was understandably quite angry about it for a while. Other times he talks about other women in strange and vaguely creepy ways. For example, I once asked him if he would like to go to swim with me and he replied that he doesn’t like pools. This confused me because sometimes we go to his friend’s house and swim in his pool and it’s never been a problem. I pushed a bit and my boyfriend admitted that “all the women in He’s also very interested in how my conventionally attractive friends are doing, more so than some of my average-looking friends. attractive)? We should hang out with her!” and said, “Oh, she’s busy with school and work, but I’m going out with Mika (another, average, but still pretty in my eyes, friend). Do you want to come?” and he will decline. I also used his phone to search for someone on Facebook once and saw that it was on Sarah’s profile. I didn’t immediately think of that, because from time to time they talk about mutual meetings with other friends, but now I’m doubting that reason. Speaking of Facebook, he also finds it hard to unfriend the only girl he’s slept with. How do I know that? He offered this information when we became official. He said something like ” I can remove it if you want. I always found it difficult despite trying sometimes.” I just told him I didn’t care because they were so much younger at the time they were intimate. Other than that, my boyfriend sometimes talks about some of the crushes he’s had in the past or how good some model/actress is and that makes him uncomfortable, or comments on how unlucky he was and never had a girlfriend (although I’m literally right there???) And before anyone asks: Yes, He knows that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. He has introduced me to all his family as his girlfriend and all his friends. We also live together and he has expressed interest in marrying me. It is strange for me that he says things like this and it is really annoying and bad for I actually broke down one day and was like, “Why do you keep living in high school fantasy mode? I was a jerk as a teenager and I don’t regret my inexperience because all the experience I got came from meaningful relationships. ran away” like you do in front of me. Did you want to break up and see other people? Afterward, he apologized profusely and told me that he respected and loved me very much, and that he was sorry he ran into me like this. He also told me that he felt his brain was a bit messy because he was used to “sighing over super pretty girls” and that I was the first to open his eyes (! ???????? …This one here here) he really wanted in a girl.We’ve since gotten over him because he didn’t want to ruin our entire relationship or our lives but his comments still they come to light from time to time, and I’m still bitter about it. call me “You were the first to come,” which isn’t the compliment he thinks it is. It’s like telling someone “if you were the last person on earth, I guess we could be friends or a couple.” It is NOT flattering to hear. What would you do in this situation? Any ideas would be welcome on what I should do about it. Thanks. **TL;DR:** The boyfriend is deeply scarred about how inexperienced he is romantically/sexually, to the point where he complains to me that he “has no experience with women” even though he I AM A WOMAN and HIS BRIDE from him. That I have to do?

Hey everyone, I’m a chronic overthinker so I’m hoping someone can give a third party perspective on whether my boyfriend is raising a bunch of red flags or I’m just not seeing things clearly from his side. So for my background: I’m pretty inexperienced when it comes to “casual dating.” I have only had 2 serious relationships in my life before my current boyfriend (we have been together 1 year). It is true that I was never the “prom bell” or anything like that and I have had self-esteem issues related to how I would compare myself to other women or more beautiful actresses and models; however, as I have aged and become more confident and sure of myself, these feelings have more or less faded or are at least average. I delve into this because my boyfriend has even less experience than me. He has never had a girlfriend before me and he has only had one other intimate partner since he was a teenager or early twenties. This doesn’t bother me because our relationship, while not perfect, is far from bad and I guess I’ve never put much emphasis or importance on the “experience”. We get along great, communicate well, and have similar life goals, and if he had never told me that he was inexperienced, I wouldn’t have noticed. However, my boyfriend seems deeply scarred by the fact that he was inexperienced and starts to make me feel like he’s “settling” with me because I was his only option (which I don’t think is true, but I’ll explain why he says that). First of all, my boyfriend comments that he has no experience or that he was never very popular with women. We’ll be watching a movie where a guy is pining for a girl and it’s not working out, and my boyfriend will start talking about how “things like that never worked out for him” and how he “wished not to be so awkward.” Women!” He once turned to me and said, “I wish I was better off talking to women” before he sarcastically asked “Oh? Are you thinking of putting yourself on the market?” Then he rowed very loudly and I was understandably quite angry about it for a while. Other times he talks about other women in strange and vaguely creepy ways. For example, I once asked him if he would like to go to swim with me and he replied that he doesn’t like pools. This confused me because sometimes we go to his friend’s house and swim in his pool and it’s never been a problem. I pushed a bit and my boyfriend admitted that “all the women in He’s also very interested in how my conventionally attractive friends are doing, more so than some of my average-looking friends. attractive)? We should hang out with her!” and said, “Oh, she’s busy with school and work, but I’m going out with Mika (another, average, but still pretty in my eyes, friend). Do you want to come?” and he will decline. I also used his phone to search for someone on Facebook once and saw that it was on Sarah’s profile. I didn’t immediately think of that, because from time to time they talk about mutual meetings with other friends, but now I’m doubting that reason. Speaking of Facebook, he also finds it hard to unfriend the only girl he’s slept with. How do I know that? He offered this information when we became official. He said something like ” I can remove it if you want. I always found it difficult despite trying sometimes.” I just told him I didn’t care because they were so much younger at the time they were intimate. Other than that, my boyfriend sometimes talks about some of the crushes he’s had in the past or how good some model/actress is and that makes him uncomfortable, or comments on how unlucky he was and never had a girlfriend (although I’m literally right there???) And before anyone asks: Yes, He knows that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. He has introduced me to all his family as his girlfriend and all his friends. We also live together and he has expressed interest in marrying me. It is strange for me that he says things like this and it is really annoying and bad for I actually broke down one day and was like, “Why do you keep living in high school fantasy mode? I was a jerk as a teenager and I don’t regret my inexperience because all the experience I got came from meaningful relationships. ran away” like you do in front of me. Did you want to break up and see other people? Afterward, he apologized profusely and told me that he respected and loved me very much, and that he was sorry he ran into me like this. He also told me that he felt his brain was a bit messy because he was used to “sighing over super pretty girls” and that I was the first to open his eyes (! ???????? …This one here here) he really wanted in a girl.We’ve since gotten over him because he didn’t want to ruin our entire relationship or our lives but his comments still they come to light from time to time, and I’m still bitter about it. call me “You were the first to come,” which isn’t the compliment he thinks it is. It’s like telling someone “if you were the last person on earth, I guess we could be friends or a couple.” It is NOT flattering to hear. What would you do in this situation? Any ideas would be welcome on what I should do about it. Thanks. **TL;DR:** The boyfriend is deeply scarred about how inexperienced he is romantically/sexually, to the point where he complains to me that he “has no experience with women” even though he I AM A WOMAN and HIS BRIDE from him. That I have to do?

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