My boyfriend (M28) and I (F29) have been together for 4 years. He just told me that he drunkenly made out with someone. That I have to do?

Let me start by saying that we have a really great relationship that has taken a lot of work, but we finally felt like we were in a good place…until a recent drunken night. We also recently moved in together so this makes the incident that much worse. My parents like him very much and his family adores me. She also told me that she really loves living with me, that she would stand up for my mom when family drama comes up, and that she has discussed rings (for the future) with a friend who is a jeweler. She also comes from a family of very good values ​​and parents who have been married for over 35 years. Don’t try to make excuses, just try to establish all the facts. So here’s the deal. It started with a drinking day where he wanted to keep it a “boys day” so he was being weird but that’s ok no problem we don’t always have to hang out together. Then she asked me if I wanted to go out that same night, but I had also been drinking during the day and wanted to stay home. So she brought one of his friends to this open bar party with him. Before he left, he was super affectionate and everything seemed normal. I went to bed without worrying. However, I woke up around 2am and still hadn’t heard from him, which is weird because when we go out without each other, he usually always keeps me up to date on what he’s doing and where he’s going. So I checked his location because he was worried that he was drunk on the street somewhere. It turned out that he was downtown in a nice residential location when he was sure his friends’ open bar party was downtown. So I text him to see if he’s okay, no response. I write again, nothing. So I call and he answers saying that he has been looking for the subway after his friends dropped him off at the bar because Ubers were $80. When he got home, I knew something was wrong. He was in that place, not in a bar, for almost an hour. I had the feeling that he had done something. I had to look at his phone and it didn’t have any girls numbers or Instagram but his friend had texted him saying “Watch out for that boy” which is very suspicious. The next morning he had a huge hangover and finally in the afternoon he started having flashbacks of his night and he told me he remembers leaving the bar downtown with random people he met and went to a house party where he ended up making out with a girl. . He claims that he didn’t spend anything else, he doesn’t even know his name or his contact or even what he looks like. He apologized and says that he knows he screwed up and is ready to accept the consequences. He said that nothing like this had ever happened before, not even messages with random girls on Instagram. I am conflicted and don’t know how to process what happened / decide what to do. We’ve been talking about marriage and a future together someday, but I know he has career goals first and feels a lot of pressure. He also likes to party and drink a lot, which I like to do too, but more sparingly than him, which has also caused some problems. I’m also torn because in the beginning, before we were “official”, he hooked up with two other people, but we worked it out after we decided to date. This happening so late in the game worries me. I’d like to know if people think this is a one time bug or if it has to do with deeper commitment issues. Any advice would be helpful. TLDR: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and before we were “official” he hooked up with two other people but we worked it out after we decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend. Now, after 3.5 years, he had a drunken night and made out with a girl. We have a very good relationship, but it has cost a lot of work. We also recently moved in together. That I have to do?

Let me start by saying that we have a really great relationship that has taken a lot of work, but we finally felt like we were in a good place…until a recent drunken night. We also recently moved in together so this makes the incident that much worse. My parents like him very much and his family adores me. She also told me that she really loves living with me, that she would stand up for my mom when family drama comes up, and that she has discussed rings (for the future) with a friend who is a jeweler. She also comes from a family of very good values ​​and parents who have been married for over 35 years. Don’t try to make excuses, just try to establish all the facts. So here’s the deal. It started with a drinking day where he wanted to keep it a “boys day” so he was being weird but that’s ok no problem we don’t always have to hang out together. Then she asked me if I wanted to go out that same night, but I had also been drinking during the day and wanted to stay home. So she brought one of his friends to this open bar party with him. Before he left, he was super affectionate and everything seemed normal. I went to bed without worrying. However, I woke up around 2am and still hadn’t heard from him, which is weird because when we go out without each other, he usually always keeps me up to date on what he’s doing and where he’s going. So I checked his location because he was worried that he was drunk on the street somewhere. It turned out that he was downtown in a nice residential location when he was sure his friends’ open bar party was downtown. So I text him to see if he’s okay, no response. I write again, nothing. So I call and he answers saying that he has been looking for the subway after his friends dropped him off at the bar because Ubers were $80. When he got home, I knew something was wrong. He was in that place, not in a bar, for almost an hour. I had the feeling that he had done something. I had to look at his phone and it didn’t have any girls numbers or Instagram but his friend had texted him saying “Watch out for that boy” which is very suspicious. The next morning he had a huge hangover and finally in the afternoon he started having flashbacks of his night and he told me he remembers leaving the bar downtown with random people he met and went to a house party where he ended up making out with a girl. . He claims that he didn’t spend anything else, he doesn’t even know his name or his contact or even what he looks like. He apologized and says that he knows he screwed up and is ready to accept the consequences. He said that nothing like this had ever happened before, not even messages with random girls on Instagram. I am conflicted and don’t know how to process what happened / decide what to do. We’ve been talking about marriage and a future together someday, but I know he has career goals first and feels a lot of pressure. He also likes to party and drink a lot, which I like to do too, but more sparingly than him, which has also caused some problems. I’m also torn because in the beginning, before we were “official”, he hooked up with two other people, but we worked it out after we decided to date. This happening so late in the game worries me. I’d like to know if people think this is a one time bug or if it has to do with deeper commitment issues. Any advice would be helpful. TLDR: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and before we were “official” he hooked up with two other people but we worked it out after we decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend. Now, after 3.5 years, he had a drunken night and made out with a girl. We have a very good relationship, but it has cost a lot of work. We also recently moved in together. That I have to do?

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