My coworker (29f) is upset with me (34f) for some advice I gave her and now I am worried about the repercussions. (long)

My co-worker Sandra and I have been quite close since she and I started at the same time in this company we work for. The friendship pretty much stays at work with the occasional after-shift cocktails and phone calls here and there. Over time, Sandra has shared some personal details from her personal life that have her somewhat depressed and possibly a bit emotionally unstable. Going through a divorce, custody battles, not connecting with your family, and not having many friends to talk to about it. I’ve always been the person in the workplace you’ve come to when you’re having trouble, having a bad day, or just need to let out a little frustration / vent. She never seems to want to go into detail about how or why these problems occur in her life when asked to explain certain situations she finds herself in. I fully respect him, but now his problems are projected onto work and are affecting work. environment. In recent months, I and other co-workers have noticed that her behavior has changed for the worse at work. You have started targeting other employees for being annoying, terrible to work with, and unable to do their job properly, so your work life is miserable. She has gone everywhere to scrutinize and criticize every little thing they do or say around her. She has come to management multiple times with ridiculous attempts at complaints to have them canceled or moved to another location. When that doesn’t work, she’ll call in sick just to avoid working with them, leaving the entire team struggling. However, no one knows what these people are doing that have her so upset. At first the management just wiped it under the rug and justified it as Sandra just being the complainer at work with no justification behind her complaints and demands. During the last two weeks when Sandra comes to work and we ALL work shifts together, I noticed that when Sandra talks to these “* annoying *” coworkers, she is very cold, aggressive and very irrational. Honestly, it’s embarrassing to see her talk to these people the way she does. He literally speaks to them as if he wants them to know that he utterly despises them for their entire existence. However, these people are completely calm and it seems that they just don’t want to get involved in your behavior towards them. However, these co-workers have now come to management and expressed their disgust at the way she speaks to them and how they now find it to be harassment in the workplace. I am rightly saying this, because it actually looks like toxic harassment in the workplace. A few days ago, I was talking to one of my supervisors, with whom I am also close, and she was expressing to me that the company is now working on a harassment case against Sandra, so they will probably call her. That management has spoken to Sandra multiple times in recent weeks regarding these certain employees and ** THEIR ** complaints against them, without a resolution from Sandras. My supervisor also expressed concern for Sandra in consideration of everything she is facing in her personal life, and recommended that since I am closer to her, perhaps I should speak with her in the hope that she will find it more helpful and constructive wanting to do it. change your behavior as a last resolution. Honestly, I didn’t want to get involved in this drama for obvious reasons: 1: it’s not my job to handle potential termination cases, and 2: Sandra is considered my friend. ** STILL ** I don’t even know why you despise these people so much, you can’t even give me an answer as to why you hate working with them. ** STILL ** doesn’t make any sense to me … I don’t want to put myself in a potential bad situation. Well, a few nights ago, while on shift, Sandra went crazy over one of these “pesky” co-workers. I mean, he completely blew himself out of his rocking chair over something as trivial as who’s going to complete a certain final task. It was so bad that I even had to walk away from the scene. I felt so bad for the coworker, but I also felt that this could be my What by talking to Sandra to help guide her in a better direction opposite to what she was going to face. At the end of the night, Sandra asked me if I wanted to have a drink with her after work, which I refused, but offered to drive her home. As I drive her home, she is completely upset about the situation that occurred at work and expressed that she is tired of dealing with such incompetent people and sick of dealing with repercussions from management. I expressed to him that we work in a place where we have to communicate with each other to make things work, that refusing to interact with certain employees at work just because they don’t like them is not an option. I suggested that finding a different, non-aggressive approach to communicating with them would enhance your reputation with management while learning frustrations / problems at work. You go on to say that you have every right to defend yourself in any way you see fit when it comes to co-workers who don’t respect your space and dislike you. That’s when I asked her what it was specifically why she didn’t like them, as it seemed more personal in the event that it had just happened. Let me tell you, this girl went from zero to one hundred really fast. He quickly becomes enraged at my question, expressing that he doesn’t need a reason to claim that he doesn’t like them, that I’m not listening to her, and now he wants me to stop on the free road in the middle of the night to drop him off. her out because she finished talking to me. Of course I refuse, but I remain calm as he bangs on the inside of my car pleading for him to get out. At one point, she was literally trying to figure out how to open the passenger side door to get out WHILE DRIVING. I don’t think I ever had to use my child safety locks! At this point, I choose not to continue the conversation as it is going to NO SECURITY, and I really focus on getting her home safely with me. The only thing I hoped, after all that was said and done in the car during that long drive, was that she would listen to everything I was advising her and possibly consider changing her behavior. It’s been a few days since the car ride home. Sandra now refuses to talk to me, instead choosing to completely ignore me in all respects. Which is fine, maybe she needs some time, maybe she’s embarrassed, I really don’t know. However, Sandra has now taken care of herself by telling other co-workers that I am upset with her and choosing to ignore her. Which is ironic considering that I have tried to reach her personally by phone. So now I’m dealing with other co-workers and their mix of fancy questions about what’s going on between Sandra and me, which I don’t mind answering or divulging in any drama. I feel bad. I hate the idea of ​​just letting go of what I thought was a good working relationship turned ugly due to an emotional imbalance with Sandra, but at the same time, I also see her in a different light. A light that shines in a way that I do not want to associate with which could harm me and my reputation at work. I really don’t know what I should do. Am I walking away and discarding this friendship due to my own bad experience with her or should I try to rekindle it so that I won’t be her next target? & # x200B; TL; DR: A piece of advice went wrong between me and a co-worker who is a friend of mine. Concerned about the repercussions and need advice on how to handle this situation without involving too many people or without knowing it. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.

My co-worker Sandra and I have been quite close since she and I started at the same time in this company we work for. The friendship pretty much stays at work with the occasional after-shift cocktails and phone calls here and there. Over time, Sandra has shared some personal details from her personal life that have her somewhat depressed and possibly a bit emotionally unstable. Going through a divorce, custody battles, not connecting with your family, and not having many friends to talk to about it. I’ve always been the person in the workplace you’ve come to when you’re having trouble, having a bad day, or just need to let out a little frustration / vent. She never seems to want to go into detail about how or why these problems occur in her life when asked to explain certain situations she finds herself in. I fully respect him, but now his problems are projected onto work and are affecting work. environment. In recent months, I and other co-workers have noticed that her behavior has changed for the worse at work. You have started targeting other employees for being annoying, terrible to work with, and unable to do their job properly, so your work life is miserable. She has gone everywhere to scrutinize and criticize every little thing they do or say around her. She has come to management multiple times with ridiculous attempts at complaints to have them canceled or moved to another location. When that doesn’t work, she’ll call in sick just to avoid working with them, leaving the entire team struggling. However, no one knows what these people are doing that have her so upset. At first the management just wiped it under the rug and justified it as Sandra just being the complainer at work with no justification behind her complaints and demands. During the last two weeks when Sandra comes to work and we ALL work shifts together, I noticed that when Sandra talks to these “* annoying *” coworkers, she is very cold, aggressive and very irrational. Honestly, it’s embarrassing to see her talk to these people the way she does. He literally speaks to them as if he wants them to know that he utterly despises them for their entire existence. However, these people are completely calm and it seems that they just don’t want to get involved in your behavior towards them. However, these co-workers have now come to management and expressed their disgust at the way she speaks to them and how they now find it to be harassment in the workplace. I am rightly saying this, because it actually looks like toxic harassment in the workplace. A few days ago, I was talking to one of my supervisors, with whom I am also close, and she was expressing to me that the company is now working on a harassment case against Sandra, so they will probably call her. That management has spoken to Sandra multiple times in recent weeks regarding these certain employees and ** THEIR ** complaints against them, without a resolution from Sandras. My supervisor also expressed concern for Sandra in consideration of everything she is facing in her personal life, and recommended that since I am closer to her, perhaps I should speak with her in the hope that she will find it more helpful and constructive wanting to do it. change your behavior as a last resolution. Honestly, I didn’t want to get involved in this drama for obvious reasons: 1: it’s not my job to handle potential termination cases, and 2: Sandra is considered my friend. ** STILL ** I don’t even know why you despise these people so much, you can’t even give me an answer as to why you hate working with them. ** STILL ** doesn’t make any sense to me … I don’t want to put myself in a potential bad situation. Well, a few nights ago, while on shift, Sandra went crazy over one of these “pesky” co-workers. I mean, he completely blew himself out of his rocking chair over something as trivial as who’s going to complete a certain final task. It was so bad that I even had to walk away from the scene. I felt so bad for the coworker, but I also felt that this could be my What by talking to Sandra to help guide her in a better direction opposite to what she was going to face. At the end of the night, Sandra asked me if I wanted to have a drink with her after work, which I refused, but offered to drive her home. As I drive her home, she is completely upset about the situation that occurred at work and expressed that she is tired of dealing with such incompetent people and sick of dealing with repercussions from management. I expressed to him that we work in a place where we have to communicate with each other to make things work, that refusing to interact with certain employees at work just because they don’t like them is not an option. I suggested that finding a different, non-aggressive approach to communicating with them would enhance your reputation with management while learning frustrations / problems at work. You go on to say that you have every right to defend yourself in any way you see fit when it comes to co-workers who don’t respect your space and dislike you. That’s when I asked her what it was specifically why she didn’t like them, as it seemed more personal in the event that it had just happened. Let me tell you, this girl went from zero to one hundred really fast. He quickly becomes enraged at my question, expressing that he doesn’t need a reason to claim that he doesn’t like them, that I’m not listening to her, and now he wants me to stop on the free road in the middle of the night to drop him off. her out because she finished talking to me. Of course I refuse, but I remain calm as he bangs on the inside of my car pleading for him to get out. At one point, she was literally trying to figure out how to open the passenger side door to get out WHILE DRIVING. I don’t think I ever had to use my child safety locks! At this point, I choose not to continue the conversation as it is going to NO SECURITY, and I really focus on getting her home safely with me. The only thing I hoped, after all that was said and done in the car during that long drive, was that she would listen to everything I was advising her and possibly consider changing her behavior. It’s been a few days since the car ride home. Sandra now refuses to talk to me, instead choosing to completely ignore me in all respects. Which is fine, maybe she needs some time, maybe she’s embarrassed, I really don’t know. However, Sandra has now taken care of herself by telling other co-workers that I am upset with her and choosing to ignore her. Which is ironic considering that I have tried to reach her personally by phone. So now I’m dealing with other co-workers and their mix of fancy questions about what’s going on between Sandra and me, which I don’t mind answering or divulging in any drama. I feel bad. I hate the idea of ​​just letting go of what I thought was a good working relationship turned ugly due to an emotional imbalance with Sandra, but at the same time, I also see her in a different light. A light that shines in a way that I do not want to associate with which could harm me and my reputation at work. I really don’t know what I should do. Am I walking away and discarding this friendship due to my own bad experience with her or should I try to rekindle it so that I won’t be her next target? & # x200B; TL; DR: A piece of advice went wrong between me and a co-worker who is a friend of mine. Concerned about the repercussions and need advice on how to handle this situation without involving too many people or without knowing it. I don’t want to deal with this anymore.

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