Many times, after a breakup, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will stay in some kind of contact with you.
It is painful to see them, it hurts to know about them. Yet at the same time, you are willing to welcome just about anything your ex does, because you still love them and want them back with all your might.
But what happens when your ex sends mixed signals?
What does it mean when your ex tells you they “still love you” or “will always have feelings for you” one minute, but then completely ignores you or tells you to go the next?
Is there something to all these back and forth emotions? Is your ex being cruel, turning his feelings on and off like a tap?
When your ex is hot one minute … cold the next
There are a number of behaviors that you will get from your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after their relationship with you ends. Some of them are intentional. Others are simply because your ex doesn’t know what to do. Remember that even though he broke up with you, your ex-lover is still going through many of the same withdrawal symptoms and bad feelings as you.
So what do all these signs mean? Let’s examine one by one:
My ex is completely ignoring me
In this case, your ex leaves you and then seems to have moved on completely. They do not call. They don’t send text messages. They no longer “like” them on your Facebook or Instagram posts. In short, it’s like you’re not even there. Like suddenly, after how much did he love this person? You are a GHOST to them.
Being ignored is one of the most painful experiences after a breakup. It can make you feel like you mean nothing to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. It can invalidate all your feelings of love, it can erase the memories you shared together as if they never happened. It feels cruel. Horrible.
But why would an ex ignore you like this? Are they doing it specifically to hurt you?
Not even close.
Look, your ex made a very difficult decision when he decided to break up with you. And it is not one that they have taken lightly.
Believe it or not, seeing you, talking to you, even hearing from you is difficult for them.
Even something as innocent as a friendly “Hi, how are you?” Texting can hurt your ex as much as it can hurt you.
So instead of going through the pain of having to deal with repeating your decision? Your ex decides to break all contact with you.
This does not mean that your ex does not love you. Not even close. But it does mean that they are not ready to hear from you right now, and that any continued effort on your part to get in touch with them will only push them further in the opposite direction.
The more you call The more they run. The more you text, or drive around your ex’s house, or stalk them on the internet? The more distant and cold the person is towards you. It is a defensive mechanism. And it’s nothing personal.
“I still love you, but I can’t be with you right now”
When an ex gives you this line, it doesn’t come close to what they are really saying. In simpler terms, here is the translation:
“I would like to see other people. But I want YOU to wait for me, so that if my new single life is a failure, I can always come back to you for friendship, sex or comfort.”
So yeah, your ex is basically cheating on you into trying to date other people. They will never admit this, of course, which is why they surround themselves with so much mystery.
Your ex may call you at strange times or text you and not respond to you. He or she will practically make their own schedule, which revolves around doing whatever they want. And when you push them for more details, or ask “when” they could get back together? They make fun of you, tell you that you are suffocating them or that they “need time alone.”
NEVER allow your ex to have so much power. Putting your relationship in limbo while waiting for the table scraps that your boyfriend or girlfriend can throw your way makes you look completely hopeless and therefore unattractive. Your ex probably won’t be dating you anytime soon when he knows you’ll come running like a dog every time you get called. And they’re certainly not going to get back into a long-term relationship with someone so desperate and subservient to them.
Your ex has sex with you but they won’t be together again
You might think that having sex with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend will help you get it back. After all, part of the reconciliation process is going back to bed, and you’re probably not exactly sure when might be the right time to do it.
But when is your ex using you for sex? That will never lead to a permanent relationship again. Not if you are giving them the physical and emotional comfort of having sex with you, but without the constraints of being a boyfriend and girlfriend.
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