My uncles [95M] son [60m] + wife moved in with him but barely talks to him – my uncle is lonely

I want to do the right thing for my uncle, but the situation feels hopeless from my perspective. My uncle (political, but I classify him as close) is 95 years old. I’ve known him all my life. He has always been a kind, decent, highly intelligent and compassionate man. He lives about a 6 hour drive from me, so I haven’t been able to spend as much time with him as I wanted to over the years. We usually spent Christmas together, along with my aunt, and also an occasional week or two during the summer. He was married for over 60 years to my aunt. She passed away last year with dementia and other health issues, which had pretty much kept them both home from visiting with us. He still has her health. Her long illness and her loyalty to her meant that he missed out on a lot, especially in their last 5 years together. They practically stayed home for 15 years. Neither had driven for more than a decade and there is no public transportation where they live. Two years ago, my uncle’s son-in-law and daughter-in-law returned from abroad to apparently help care for his elderly parents. They had emigrated at a very young age and, from what I am told, had not been very successful there. I’m sure there is much more, but the essence of the situation is that they did not have much to stay in their adopted country. After my aunt passed away, they basically supported themselves but live in this little house with my uncle. It is my uncle’s house, his marital home for about 40 years. Since his funeral, they have practically stayed in his room. It’s not a big house at all, I guess designed for 2 people, but aside from meals they don’t seem to interact with him much. He said as much as this, which broke my heart. His actual words on his recent visit were “it’s good to have people to talk to, no one talks to me at home.” The thing is, he’s a super interesting guy and he’s still as sharp as a knife mentally, even at 95 years old. He is interested in things, can carry on a meaningful conversation, and is still inquisitive. All the things that any 95-year-old could reasonably hope to be. What I’m trying to say is, if we’re being honest, we all know that sometimes having conversations with the (very) old can be hard work, but with my uncle, it’s so natural and he has the charisma of someone half as old. your age. He is never afraid to crack a joke and understands them just as well. He recently stayed with us at home for a couple of weeks. When he arrived, he cried a little, since he had not visited us since his wife died and, in fact, he had never visited us alone. We had a great time, we went places, we did things, we talked for hours. He was up for a lot of things, including playing sports, which at 95 is crazy, but he’s up for anything. We also laughed a lot. I took him home and he cried when I left. I cried softly, without making a fuss, but I saw it. He has never cried in front of me before. I think half of that might be knowing that he might not see me again, but the other half might be knowing that he’s back now, once again, stuck in his own living room, with no one willing to talk to him. him, despite two adults. living in the same house. This worries me deeply. I sent him back to solitude and reflection on the death of his wife. The above may sound silly, but I hope it isn’t. I want him to sell the house, move nearby so we can give him a social life, which I would be happy to help with, but I know he never would because his recently repatriated son is homeless. . I know his son just can’t afford to buy or rent a house here as he has never worked and hardly had a decent job in his life. Even suggesting a move like that for my uncle could be considered disrespectful. My uncle still has judgment on him and I’m not in a real place to interfere. He respects me as an adult, but his relationship with his son is surely none of my business and, in fact, we have never touched on the subject. What can I do for my uncle? He’s a ~~good~~ great guy, but he’s stuck in his own house, with people not talking to him, and his sanity, or at least what it looks like, seems to suggest he’s given up. He kept talking about how nothing matters anymore, but I know he feels loved and appreciated when he’s with us. He lost his life partner, so he feels like he’s just waiting to die, but sitting alone, being ignored, is the most terrible way to do it. Is there anything he can realistically do? I feel helpless It is very hard to see a 95-year-old cry because he feels very lonely and, in this case, it is really not necessary. There are a dozen people of all ages within a 6-hour drive from his house who love him and want to include him in everything, but living so far away, the logistics involved with a 95-year-old man make it very difficult to make an impact. significant. . I guess there isn’t really an answer to the above, but writing it is cathartic. TLDR: My older uncles\[95m\] son \[60m\]Recently (2019) he came back from abroad with his wife (after 40 years) and moved into my aunt and uncle’s house. My uncle’s wife of over 60 years recently passed away. Neither of them speaks to my uncle outside of meals, leaving him almost completely alone. He can’t drive and there is no transportation, so he is isolated, alone and bored. He cried when I had to take him home after a recent visit. He has never cried in front of me in the 40+ years I’ve known him. I don’t know how to help him and time is short due to his age.

I want to do the right thing for my uncle, but the situation feels hopeless from my perspective. My uncle (political, but I classify him as close) is 95 years old. I’ve known him all my life. He has always been a kind, decent, highly intelligent and compassionate man. He lives about a 6 hour drive from me, so I haven’t been able to spend as much time with him as I wanted to over the years. We usually spent Christmas together, along with my aunt, and also an occasional week or two during the summer. He was married for over 60 years to my aunt. She passed away last year with dementia and other health issues, which had pretty much kept them both home from visiting with us. He still has her health. Her long illness and her loyalty to her meant that he missed out on a lot, especially in their last 5 years together. They practically stayed home for 15 years. Neither had driven for more than a decade and there is no public transportation where they live. Two years ago, my uncle’s son-in-law and daughter-in-law returned from abroad to apparently help care for his elderly parents. They had emigrated at a very young age and, from what I am told, had not been very successful there. I’m sure there is much more, but the essence of the situation is that they did not have much to stay in their adopted country. After my aunt passed away, they basically supported themselves but live in this little house with my uncle. It is my uncle’s house, his marital home for about 40 years. Since his funeral, they have practically stayed in his room. It’s not a big house at all, I guess designed for 2 people, but aside from meals they don’t seem to interact with him much. He said as much as this, which broke my heart. His actual words on his recent visit were “it’s good to have people to talk to, no one talks to me at home.” The thing is, he’s a super interesting guy and he’s still as sharp as a knife mentally, even at 95 years old. He is interested in things, can carry on a meaningful conversation, and is still inquisitive. All the things that any 95-year-old could reasonably hope to be. What I’m trying to say is, if we’re being honest, we all know that sometimes having conversations with the (very) old can be hard work, but with my uncle, it’s so natural and he has the charisma of someone half as old. your age. He is never afraid to crack a joke and understands them just as well. He recently stayed with us at home for a couple of weeks. When he arrived, he cried a little, since he had not visited us since his wife died and, in fact, he had never visited us alone. We had a great time, we went places, we did things, we talked for hours. He was up for a lot of things, including playing sports, which at 95 is crazy, but he’s up for anything. We also laughed a lot. I took him home and he cried when I left. I cried softly, without making a fuss, but I saw it. He has never cried in front of me before. I think half of that might be knowing that he might not see me again, but the other half might be knowing that he’s back now, once again, stuck in his own living room, with no one willing to talk to him. him, despite two adults. living in the same house. This worries me deeply. I sent him back to solitude and reflection on the death of his wife. The above may sound silly, but I hope it isn’t. I want him to sell the house, move nearby so we can give him a social life, which I would be happy to help with, but I know he never would because his recently repatriated son is homeless. . I know his son just can’t afford to buy or rent a house here as he has never worked and hardly had a decent job in his life. Even suggesting a move like that for my uncle could be considered disrespectful. My uncle still has judgment on him and I’m not in a real place to interfere. He respects me as an adult, but his relationship with his son is surely none of my business and, in fact, we have never touched on the subject. What can I do for my uncle? He’s a ~~good~~ great guy, but he’s stuck in his own house, with people not talking to him, and his sanity, or at least what it looks like, seems to suggest he’s given up. He kept talking about how nothing matters anymore, but I know he feels loved and appreciated when he’s with us. He lost his life partner, so he feels like he’s just waiting to die, but sitting alone, being ignored, is the most terrible way to do it. Is there anything he can realistically do? I feel helpless It is very hard to see a 95-year-old cry because he feels very lonely and, in this case, it is really not necessary. There are a dozen people of all ages within a 6-hour drive from his house who love him and want to include him in everything, but living so far away, the logistics involved with a 95-year-old man make it very difficult to make an impact. significant. . I guess there isn’t really an answer to the above, but writing it is cathartic. TLDR: My older uncles\[95m\] son \[60m\]Recently (2019) he came back from abroad with his wife (after 40 years) and moved into my aunt and uncle’s house. My uncle’s wife of over 60 years recently passed away. Neither of them speaks to my uncle outside of meals, leaving him almost completely alone. He can’t drive and there is no transportation, so he is isolated, alone and bored. He cried when I had to take him home after a recent visit. He has never cried in front of me in the 40+ years I’ve known him. I don’t know how to help him and time is short due to his age.

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