Platonic love is just as powerful as sexual love

Men are attracted to people whose bodies turn them on. They need to ejaculate through penetrative sex to get the physical gratification that can give them a feeling of intimacy with another person. So men promote sexual love. They think that love between adults should always have a sexual motivation because they live it that way. Some men disrespect the women they have sex with. Other men use sex to humiliate others.

Sexual love arises from a man’s gratitude for the physical gratification he enjoys with a lover. Sexual love involves a man concentrating on his own pleasure rather than responding to a lover’s needs. Sexual love only lasts as long as a man enjoys regular sex. So sexual love is not as lasting as platonic love based solely on affection. Women do not have an arousal cycle. Women also do not experience sexual frustration or the need for intercourse or any other sexual activity. Women do not need to orgasm with a lover to establish an emotional connection.

Men assume that platonic love is inferior for not having sex. They think that a person who does not respond well could be dead. If a man spends time on romantic dinners or money on gifts, he no doubt appreciates that his efforts won’t help arouse a woman. A woman appreciates these things because they are indications that a man cares about her. This is the kind of platonic (companionship and caring) love that women value.

For women, the sense of emotional connection, love, and concern for another person are achieved differently. For women, sex is not about functional biology but about feelings and mental connection. Women may be more relaxed to enjoy sex than men because sexual activity is less functional and less needed. Lesbians are likely to benefit most from this feminine approach to sensual and emotional pleasure.

Single women have little reason to embark on intimate relationships with other adults. The male sexual drive is the trigger that initiates most adult sexual relations. This may explain why lesbians often delay the onset of sexual intercourse. If women behaved like men, adult relationships would be much shorter than they are. Women’s willingness to offer sexual relations cements relationships that men enter into for sexual reasons. Women’s desire for affectionate companionship allows heterosexual and lesbian relationships to endure beyond the initial passion and novelty of casual sex.

Given their lack of arousal with a lover, sex is meaningless to women as an erotic activity. Women focus on platonic love, which is based on the emotional intimacy that builds up over time when a person constantly cares. Platonic love is about affectionate companionship and showing consideration for a lover. Women’s ability to care for a partner means that relationships involving women (straight and lesbian) last much longer than relationships involving only men (gay male relationships), which tend to focus on physical gratification and a variety of couples.

A woman sees a man first of all as a social person. Women do not love men for their sexual attributes. Women love men who they can rely on for moral and practical support. Women feel cared for by the sexual love that men have for them. But this does not make women’s love sexual. Women are not turned on but they like to feel needed, admired and wanted. Women please a male lover by offering him sexual release through intercourse.

Women’s emotional attachment mechanism must be durable enough to motivate them to care for children for decades. This bonding mechanism stems from female nurturing instincts and has nothing to do with sexual rewards. Men’s emotional attachment mechanism is much weaker, allowing them to leave the family to pursue their own interests. The key motivating factor for a man to return home is knowing that his partner will offer him regular sex. Men love their children but are not motivated to dedicate their lives to raising them to the exclusion of all other activities.

Women get emotional retribution in other (non-sexual) ways. Women experience nurturing love. Women want to share their lives with a partner who is interesting to be with and who is interested in them. Women see love as giving and not receiving. Women are motivated by nurturing instincts and the opportunity to care for others. Women get emotional rewards by showing affection and caring for another person.

Sex is just one of the ways that people give and receive love, so while it’s very important, it’s not the only way to develop or express intimacy. (Jonathan Lenbuck 2013)

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