Should it hurt that my best friend didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend?

Hello! My college roommate and I (21F) are very close. We started out as strangers and then became best friends. We have lived together for over a year and talk every day. In mid-August I asked her if she would be willing to meet my boyfriend’s best friend. She agreed and the 4 of us went out to a bar together. They hit it off and started dating. She hasn’t had a boyfriend since she was 16 and she has a lot of issues built up around dating that I’ve helped her through. We talk about everything and, in a way, I’m her best friend/her therapist as much as she’s mine. Having said that, you can only imagine how much we talked about him and her and them dating and possibly starting a relationship etc. He goes to a different college than we do and paid a visit to our apartment over Labor Day weekend. I was out of town that weekend, but was super excited for her and texted me updates. After that visit, I got the impression that they were dating more seriously. She and I talked all the time about the possibility of them starting a relationship and her feelings about it. Fast forward to today came for a second visit this weekend. An hour after I get here they tell me that they are now in a relationship. When they told me I was very moved because they are super cute together. I expressed how happy I was for them. Then they tell me that they have been in a relationship since Labor Day weekend, which was three weeks ago. They explained that they wanted to keep it a secret for a while just to see how things went. I completely understand her reasoning, but I was surprised because she and I told each other everything. I have mixed feelings because I am extremely happy for them, but it also hurts me that they didn’t tell me. We live in the same house and we talked a lot about going out together. I’m rethinking every conversation we’ve had about him in the last 3 weeks because she essentially had to lie to me every day about it. Should she feel hurt by this? I understand her reasoning, but it makes me feel worse to know that I played a part in helping herself become more comfortable with this, but then they didn’t tell me for almost a month. TL;DR- my best friend/roommate didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend for 3 weeks

Hello! My college roommate and I (21F) are very close. We started out as strangers and then became best friends. We have lived together for over a year and talk every day. In mid-August I asked her if she would be willing to meet my boyfriend’s best friend. She agreed and the 4 of us went out to a bar together. They hit it off and started dating. She hasn’t had a boyfriend since she was 16 and she has a lot of issues built up around dating that I’ve helped her through. We talk about everything and, in a way, I’m her best friend/her therapist as much as she’s mine. Having said that, you can only imagine how much we talked about him and her and them dating and possibly starting a relationship etc. He goes to a different college than we do and paid a visit to our apartment over Labor Day weekend. I was out of town that weekend, but was super excited for her and texted me updates. After that visit, I got the impression that they were dating more seriously. She and I talked all the time about the possibility of them starting a relationship and her feelings about it. Fast forward to today came for a second visit this weekend. An hour after I get here they tell me that they are now in a relationship. When they told me I was very moved because they are super cute together. I expressed how happy I was for them. Then they tell me that they have been in a relationship since Labor Day weekend, which was three weeks ago. They explained that they wanted to keep it a secret for a while just to see how things went. I completely understand her reasoning, but I was surprised because she and I told each other everything. I have mixed feelings because I am extremely happy for them, but it also hurts me that they didn’t tell me. We live in the same house and we talked a lot about going out together. I’m rethinking every conversation we’ve had about him in the last 3 weeks because she essentially had to lie to me every day about it. Should she feel hurt by this? I understand her reasoning, but it makes me feel worse to know that I played a part in helping herself become more comfortable with this, but then they didn’t tell me for almost a month. TL;DR- my best friend/roommate didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend for 3 weeks

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