We have built a life together, how do I break up?

After a decade, I think the only reason we’re still together is because we have pets. Backstory: I’ve been with my girlfriend (30f) for nine years. They have been good years; We rarely fight, we agree on everything, we spend most of our free time together doing fun things. We have talked about getting married and we are even engaged! But, like everything else in our relationship, it has come to nothing. I don’t even know where that commitment is right now, and I don’t really care? A year ago, I posted on reddit asking for advice on whether my relationship was worth trying or whether it was time to break up. The general consensus was something that is still true today: There is no * REASON * to break. Except the reason is the same as before, for the fact that I am living with someone who has become my roommate, absolutely disconnected from me, in a completely lifeless relationship. Our jobs have completely opposite schedules, when one of us is working, the other is fast asleep. I never see it. The meme of waking up in the morning to find a mess in your house and thinking “who closed last night?” it is literally something that I experience. It is literally like living in shifts. ANYWAY – I’m ready to go. I am so sad, I feel completely alone. I don’t even want another relationship, I just want to BE really alone if I’m going to FEEL lonely, you know? If I’m going to do a lot of chores, I’d rather they be chores that I left to myself rather than the mess that someone else left me. Here is my biggest problem, the real reason I called you: We have split the account of EVERYTHING we own and I am not willing to give up my belongings or lose the thousands of dollars invested in my life. For example, a set of nightstands that cost a hot dollar, I leave half, should I take one? It feels so stupid to say it because it’s such a small thing. The couch! All adults know how much a nice sofa costs. And I left half of that too. How would I even come close to dividing our lives? I feel like the only reason I haven’t left yet is because we’re too intertwined when it comes to things. We are both on the lease for our current apartment. I’m lost. And then there are the pets. We have two pets that love each other, so simply taking one is out of the question. I do all the chores for them (feeding, cleaning, vet, EVERYTHING) but I don’t really want them to burden me with both of them on my own. It’s very confusing and of course I love them, but they weren’t meant to be alone with the person himself watching over them. I guess I’m really only here for general advice. There is no hot gossip here, I just don’t know what to do. My girlfriend will make a huge, huge, huge scene of us breaking up and screaming and crying to the gods, but I think that’s because she’s just as scared of having to untangle us as I am. One of our good friends broke up with her boyfriend but due to their circumstances, they have been stuck sharing the same bed while single (and fighting) for months. What would you do? – TL; DR – I want to break up with my long time girlfriend (fiance?) But we have too much life built up. How can I divide thousands of dollars on things that I have half lost in, the rent, the pets? Am I stuck in a completely dead relationship forever?

After a decade, I think the only reason we’re still together is because we have pets. Backstory: I’ve been with my girlfriend (30f) for nine years. They have been good years; We rarely fight, we agree on everything, we spend most of our free time together doing fun things. We have talked about getting married and we are even engaged! But, like everything else in our relationship, it has come to nothing. I don’t even know where that commitment is right now, and I don’t really care? A year ago, I posted on reddit asking for advice on whether my relationship was worth trying or whether it was time to break up. The general consensus was something that is still true today: There is no * REASON * to break. Except the reason is the same as before, for the fact that I am living with someone who has become my roommate, absolutely disconnected from me, in a completely lifeless relationship. Our jobs have completely opposite schedules, when one of us is working, the other is fast asleep. I never see it. The meme of waking up in the morning to find a mess in your house and thinking “who closed last night?” it is literally something that I experience. It is literally like living in shifts. ANYWAY – I’m ready to go. I am so sad, I feel completely alone. I don’t even want another relationship, I just want to BE really alone if I’m going to FEEL lonely, you know? If I’m going to do a lot of chores, I’d rather they be chores that I left to myself rather than the mess that someone else left me. Here is my biggest problem, the real reason I called you: We have split the account of EVERYTHING we own and I am not willing to give up my belongings or lose the thousands of dollars invested in my life. For example, a set of nightstands that cost a hot dollar, I leave half, should I take one? It feels so stupid to say it because it’s such a small thing. The couch! All adults know how much a nice sofa costs. And I left half of that too. How would I even come close to dividing our lives? I feel like the only reason I haven’t left yet is because we’re too intertwined when it comes to things. We are both on the lease for our current apartment. I’m lost. And then there are the pets. We have two pets that love each other, so simply taking one is out of the question. I do all the chores for them (feeding, cleaning, vet, EVERYTHING) but I don’t really want them to burden me with both of them on my own. It’s very confusing and of course I love them, but they weren’t meant to be alone with the person himself watching over them. I guess I’m really only here for general advice. There is no hot gossip here, I just don’t know what to do. My girlfriend will make a huge, huge, huge scene of us breaking up and screaming and crying to the gods, but I think that’s because she’s just as scared of having to untangle us as I am. One of our good friends broke up with her boyfriend but due to their circumstances, they have been stuck sharing the same bed while single (and fighting) for months. What would you do? – TL; DR – I want to break up with my long time girlfriend (fiance?) But we have too much life built up. How can I divide thousands of dollars on things that I have half lost in, the rent, the pets? Am I stuck in a completely dead relationship forever?

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