So you broke up, you’ve been apart for a while, and all of a sudden your ex starts signaling again. Or maybe you’re looking to get back together with your ex boyfriend, and you want to know what signals he’ll give when he starts to reconsider, and maybe he even loves you again.
Ex-boyfriend signs of interest will come in many different ways. Some of them will be open, like your ex calling to talk to you. Others can be a bit more restrained, like a seemingly innocent text message late at night.
There are behaviors to consider. Eye contact. Body language. It really gets confusing, especially when you’re afraid of reading too much into things because you’re trying not to get your hopes up.
But what do these signs mean? Which of them are bigger indicators that your ex is thinking of you again, and which are smaller false signals that you can basically ignore?
Ultimately, you want to be an expert in reading the biggest signs that he still loves you. Because knowing exactly when your ex is flirting, and when he’s not doing anything at all, can help you know when to act and when to stay behind.
Reverse any breakdown requires moment. Just like in life, being in the right place at the right time and doing all the right things can mean the difference between fantastic success and disastrous failure.
Reading your ex boyfriend’s body language
Just as important as what your ex says is the way he says it. Obviously, if he communicates with you by phone or text, you will not have a chance to examine his body language. But in person? The way he’s standing, the way he’s leaning toward you when he’s talking … those things are an important indication of his level of interest.
Does he touch your arm when he talks to you? Laughs a lot? This is an obvious flirtation. Yet here you go, his ex-girlfriend. So either he’s flirting with you to be cruel, or maybe he’s interested in you again … in one respect or another.
On the contrary, is he pulling away when you speak to him? Do you seem distracted or do you look around, scanning the rest of the room during your conversation? These are signs that you are looking to escape. Especially revealing is when your ex-boyfriend nods his head and “yes,” he tells you a lot. If you are interested, it will involve you in what you are saying and ask you questions so you can expand on it. If you are not interested, you will not.
Your ex starts to be very available
This is one of the biggest signs that your ex might want you again. It will happen when he wants to meet you or talk to you, but he doesn’t want it to seem like he did it on purpose. It will start to appear in your social circles. Hang out in places he knows you’re going to be. He basically wants to see you, but he’s also playing things nice, as if seeing you isn’t his intention at all.
Some guys do this to spy on their ex-girlfriends, and it’s okay. If his intention is to find out what you are doing or who you are hanging out with, it is probably because he is afraid that you will meet someone else. This is a very good indication that your ex boyfriend still wants you “around”, in case he changes his mind and wants you back. Otherwise, they would not care so much what you are doing.
Sends you a text message after a long period of no contact
When that text message appears unexpectedly from out of left field, it’s because you caught it at a vulnerable moment. Your ex misses you. And not just a little bit, but missing you enough to get to you.
Text messages have probably been sent thousands of times, but no text message is as important as this one. While it doesn’t necessarily mean that your boyfriend wants to get back together again tomorrow, it’s a great indication that you have some kind of influence on him, after all this time.
If he texts you like this, send him the message back. Keep it simple, keep it fast. Don’t overcommit, no matter what you say. Even if he tells you that he misses you, you have to keep your feelings in check by staying one step behind where he is.
Your ex starts talking to your friends (or family)
When this happens, your ex is checking a few things. First, you want to know where you stand. Maybe he’s fishing to see if you’re still single or if you’ve met someone else and are already dating him. Or maybe he’s just checking in to see how you feel about the breakup.
You’re sad? Depressed? These things will show. That’s why you always want to put your best playing face on, even to family and friends, when it comes to how you’re handling the break. You want your ex to hear things like, “Yeah, he’s doing great!” every time you talk to your friends. Not only will this make him a little jealous (that you’re having fun without him), it will also make him start to wonder if letting go was the right move.
Now if he is talking to your family? That means a little more. Show that your ex he still cares what his family thinks of him. And a guy would only care about this if, somewhere in his head, he still sees himself next to you at some point in the future.
Your ex boyfriend asks if you want to meet him
When does he really miss you? Your ex may ask to see you again. He probably dismisses it as completely innocent; Maybe coffee or something like that, or maybe he’ll make up some excuse to see you, like he had to pick up something he left at your house.
When this call comes in, agree to meet with him, but he’s not TOO available. You may want to decline your suggested first time / location with “Sorry, I’m busy that day” and then accept your alternative. Whatever you do, don’t question the motives. Just do it.
By meeting him, you’ll want to let your ex do the talking most of the time. Listen to what he’s saying, you might even blurt out the real reason for the breakup (it’s not always what he said). Also, examine your body language. Look for signs of closeness and familiarity, because those signs will be great indicators that you are almost ready for a reconciliation.
Don’t snoop around and don’t talk about anything heavy like fighting or whatever it is that led to the end of your relationship. Make small talk, be cheerful, and try to make him feel comfortable watching you. Basically eliminate any discomfort. You want him to go back to the familiar place he was when you were dating and to be completely safe with each other.
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