What do you do when you (m31) and your fiancé (f31) are great teammates for dealing with life’s challenges, but are polar opposites for everything else and struggling to have fun?

This is my second Reddit post (long time reader), but here goes … My fiancé (technically wife, we were legally married during the pandemic after having to delay our royal wedding a year ago) and I have been together for almost 4 years. They lived together for almost 3 years. Our wedding is a couple of months away. We found each one through a mutual friend, almost immediately after I moved back to a major city where she lived and I was originally. We’ve helped each other get through some crazy things … depression, career change and second round of graduate study for me … anxiety, demanding work (especially during a pandemic) for her … and the general madness of 2020- 21 … and we probably couldn’t. I haven’t done it without anyone else by our side. We match very, very well on meaningful things like values, morals, empathy, family focus, etc. There are MANY moments when we make a great team. We are great at coping with life together, caring for each other, and being there for each other. And I’m sure that will never change. But as soon as you delve into the external values ​​and challenges of life, how we really live and enjoy life, we are polar opposites. Now, as we come out of our covid hibernation and go back to living life, our differences are becoming more and more frequent. I’m an extrovert, she’s an introvert. I am spontaneous, she is a planner. I need fun, she needs peace and quiet. I like spicy food, she can’t stand it. I like horror movies, she can’t stand them. I am a risk taker, she is extremely risk averse. I like going out to dinner, she doesn’t. I need to live in the moment and let it go, she tries (sometimes) but can’t help but worry. She has a germ phobia, I don’t. Your ideal Saturday is to simply sit in your parents’ small living room and gaze aimlessly at the west wing with them without paying attention to it. I don’t like to see things by halves. I just like doing nothing after doing something fun and challenging. The whole scene makes me feel like this is where our lives are headed, and it’s nowhere near what I want. I could go on … but the point is, we’re not having fun like we used to before the pandemic. Maybe even before we lived together. Idk if we have changed, temporarily or permanently. The pandemic has been hard on her. I’m trying to find ways for us to enjoy each other, but it seems like most of the adventures I plan for us seem like she would have been happier at home. And that’s a bummer, especially for me. Your anxiety and risk aversion may seem pessimistic, and that really has a negative effect on my depression. We always knew that we were very different, but we tried to see it as a balance between us. On many levels, the balance is positive … she has helped me drink less, spend less, etc. But I can’t help but think that I’ve had more “fun” with other girlfriends. But I also believe that … he is still the best and most caring partner I have ever had. Maybe my vision of what I want in a relationship is immature? Should I focus more on the things he likes, even if I don’t like him? If it will always be a challenge for us to “have fun together”, are we better apart? Am I the one being too negative, too selfish? How could we have fun together? TLDR: read the title… What should I do? How could you frame / think about this positively and work towards a solution?

This is my second Reddit post (long time reader), but here goes … My fiancé (technically wife, we were legally married during the pandemic after having to delay our royal wedding a year ago) and I have been together for almost 4 years. They lived together for almost 3 years. Our wedding is a couple of months away. We found each one through a mutual friend, almost immediately after I moved back to a major city where she lived and I was originally. We’ve helped each other get through some crazy things … depression, career change and second round of graduate study for me … anxiety, demanding work (especially during a pandemic) for her … and the general madness of 2020- 21 … and we probably couldn’t. I haven’t done it without anyone else by our side. We match very, very well on meaningful things like values, morals, empathy, family focus, etc. There are MANY moments when we make a great team. We are great at coping with life together, caring for each other, and being there for each other. And I’m sure that will never change. But as soon as you delve into the external values ​​and challenges of life, how we really live and enjoy life, we are polar opposites. Now, as we come out of our covid hibernation and go back to living life, our differences are becoming more and more frequent. I’m an extrovert, she’s an introvert. I am spontaneous, she is a planner. I need fun, she needs peace and quiet. I like spicy food, she can’t stand it. I like horror movies, she can’t stand them. I am a risk taker, she is extremely risk averse. I like going out to dinner, she doesn’t. I need to live in the moment and let it go, she tries (sometimes) but can’t help but worry. She has a germ phobia, I don’t. Your ideal Saturday is to simply sit in your parents’ small living room and gaze aimlessly at the west wing with them without paying attention to it. I don’t like to see things by halves. I just like doing nothing after doing something fun and challenging. The whole scene makes me feel like this is where our lives are headed, and it’s nowhere near what I want. I could go on … but the point is, we’re not having fun like we used to before the pandemic. Maybe even before we lived together. Idk if we have changed, temporarily or permanently. The pandemic has been hard on her. I’m trying to find ways for us to enjoy each other, but it seems like most of the adventures I plan for us seem like she would have been happier at home. And that’s a bummer, especially for me. Your anxiety and risk aversion may seem pessimistic, and that really has a negative effect on my depression. We always knew that we were very different, but we tried to see it as a balance between us. On many levels, the balance is positive … she has helped me drink less, spend less, etc. But I can’t help but think that I’ve had more “fun” with other girlfriends. But I also believe that … he is still the best and most caring partner I have ever had. Maybe my vision of what I want in a relationship is immature? Should I focus more on the things he likes, even if I don’t like him? If it will always be a challenge for us to “have fun together”, are we better apart? Am I the one being too negative, too selfish? How could we have fun together? TLDR: read the title… What should I do? How could you frame / think about this positively and work towards a solution?

It’s a morality have and many of the pieces of message in the aggregation are extremely insightful – especially ones who are hunting for it. It’s healed cursive, worldwide and not imitative. Outlaw Bauer is of direction fit advised some this content and you can acquire a abstraction or two regularise if your relation is afloat diplomatical: Click Here

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply