When time equals love

In Australia, if children have a father, they spend an average of only 6 minutes per day in his presence. This is not quality time, just quantity of time. Therefore, reading books, playing games, and doing homework together may receive little or no attention. This does not go unnoticed by mothers. They know, like society, that father figures can play a fundamental role in the development of young people. It is perhaps even sadder that many mothers are also forced to compete in a world of rat races, simply to feed hungry mouths, pay the bills, and keep a roof over the family’s head.

It can be a pretty depressing reality; trying to balance vital family time, the key investments for the future of our children’s lives, with the payment of these ‘privileges’.

The irony is that quality time shouldn’t be a privilege. It should be a human right. Because how is a young human being to properly develop where there is not enough love through the investment of quality time? But this is the world we live in.

The simple thesis of this article is time equals love.

This is a harsh reality for each of us in charge of raising children. And perhaps the growing trend for grandparents to take a more active role is to be welcomed, more and more. Because, if the parents are busy working for the family, and there is a loving extended family structure available to care for the children, the needs of the children are taken care of. They have loved ones willing and able to contribute the necessary time for their developmental needs.


Time has always been an incredibly valuable commodity. But, even more, today is increasingly poignant when we consider the financial pressures, the hustle and bustle of life, and many overwhelming realities, including the constant barrage of new technologies. We can’t regulate life as much as we used to.

Now, one thing that hasn’t changed is the cost and choice of time spent.

We, as always, have the choice regarding our time. We pay a cost for the things we don’t do, and the costs are expected to be minuscule if we are doing the important things. And our values ​​(our real values) will dictate where our time goes.

Time, then, is a key indicator of what we love. What we invest our time in is what we love. If we love our job, we work long hours and our commitment is limitless; our purpose is derived from our work and from our work we have meaning for life. If we love our families, certain sacrifices are made to protect those vital hours required in raising our families. And more than that, we make sure that we are psychologically present within our family space.

Life gives us many options, but our choice must be wise. We can’t have it both ways. Of course we know this. And if we, like most people, have reached the point where we need to decide what to give, hopefully it will be our most important relationships that become the benefactors of the changes that only we can institute.

This is where commitment breaks with our desires.

We can wish all we want, but unless we are prepared to truly make the changes we need to make, nothing will change.


Our families and our children deserve our time. The fact is that time equals love. And despite the pressures that confuse us, our love helps us find the moment.

© 2012 SJ Wickham.

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